FUNNY JOKES · FUNNY STORIES · JOKES

FUNNY HOT DATE


Hot Date
.
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

“Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot.

I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night.

We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out.

And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that.

Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.”

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.

He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree.

He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.”

He leans over to her and says, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”

FUNNY JOKES · FUNNY STORIES · JOKES

INSIDE JOKE


Inside Joke

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.

The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing fit to bust.

The chemist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, that if the man returns, to follow him.

Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more.

The assistant duly follows.

Half an hour later, he returns.
“So did you follow him?” ask the chemist.

“I did”, replied the assistant.

“And…where did he go?”

“Over to your house…”

FUNNY JOKES · FUNNY STORIES · JOKES

FUNNY GRANDPA AND HIS GRANDSON


A Grandpa walks into a grandson’s apartment and sees a condom on the table.

“What’s this!?” demands the grandfather.

“It’s a condom” replies the grandson sheepishly.

“What do you use it for?” asks Gramps.

The guy is surprised that his grandpa really doesn’t know what a condom is, and lies, “I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain.”

To his surprise his grandpa says “That’s a great idea,” and goes off to the drug store.

He asks the pharmacist for a condom. “What size would you like” asks the pharmacist.

“Oh, big enough to fit a camel”

FUNNY JOKES · FUNNY STORIES · JOKES

UJINGA REELONDED


s Ujinga Reloaded

Ati wale wanawake ambao hukula mchanga na mawe wakiwa n ball ndio huzaa watoto wanaopenda kuongea matope

Teacher : Write a composition imagining that you are a KDF soldier at war in Somalia.
Kevo : ( sleeping comfortably)
Teacher : Kevo why are you not writing?

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Kevo : I was killed immediately

Wakamba mtanimaliza aki.
Teacher: Mutinda, make a sentence using green , pink and yellow.

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On Ujinga Reloaded

Mutinda: My phone ring green green green, i pink it and say yellow!!
Dunia isimame kwanza nishuke nicheke.

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Kumbe bangi haina madhara yoyote bana,nimejaribu kupiga pafu tatu usiku huu na Niko vizur tu nimekaa juu ya tv naangalia masofa yangu,

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Alafu wasee si nlienda kanisa, pastor akasoma from book of exodus. Mlevi mwingine akasimama, akaambia pastor, “yaani bado tuko exodus?? Pastor wengine wako revelation. Yesu atarudi akute hatujamaliza syllabus.”
(

image
*****A MUST LOUGH******

Death came to a guy and said,

'My frnd today is ur day'
Guy: 'But Im not ready!'.

Then death said, 'Well ur name is the next on my list'.

Guy: 'Okay why don't u take a seat and I will get u something to eat before we go?'.

Then death said, 'All right'

The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list and put into the bottom of the list...

When death woke up he said to the guy,

'Because u have been so very nice to me,

I will start from the BOTTOM of the list

goodnite pals

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Hapo ndo nkajua kwanini Jesus wept😂😂😂

Tulikuwa kwa club tunachapa keg Waiter akasema Kuna kikombe imepotea…Bouncer akasimama akafunga mlango..kisha akasema kama Kuna fans wa arsenal wasimame.

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Nilikuwa wa first kusimama. Mungu ni mkubwa imagine amesema mlango ifunguliwe  fans wa arsenal watoke nje juu hawabebangi vikombe
Sasa tunategea hapa nje tujue Nani
mwizi

image
*****A MUST LOUGH******

Death came to a guy and said,

'My frnd today is ur day'
Guy: 'But Im not ready!'.

Then death said, 'Well ur name is the next on my list'.

Guy: 'Okay why don't u take a seat and I will get u something to eat before we go?'.

Then death said, 'All right'

The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list and put into the bottom of the list...

When death woke up he said to the guy,

'Because u have been so very nice to me,

I will start from the BOTTOM of the list

goodnite pals

see more on Ujinga Reloaded

wavuta bangi wawili wakafika kwa stage ya train wakapata inaondoka.wakaikimbiza lakini mmoja akabahatika kupanda… mwenye alibaki akaachwa akicheka mpaka akaanguka….,watu wakamuliza kwanini unacheka na umeachwa??? akajibu akasema ” mwenye amepanda amesahau ni mimi alikuwa anasindikiza……

Wanaume Wengine aki sijui nikurogwa ama ni nini

Dem Flani Muislamu Ameupload Selfie akiwa amevaa Buibui, nitumacho tu ndo tunaonekana alafu Nugu ingine iko kwa comment aty “wow cute Lipa

ata nisiokotwe…najipeleka durstbin saii

image
*****A MUST LOUGH******

Death came to a guy and said,

'My frnd today is ur day'
Guy: 'But Im not ready!'.

Then death said, 'Well ur name is the next on my list'.

Guy: 'Okay why don't u take a seat and I will get u something to eat before we go?'.

Then death said, 'All right'

The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list and put into the bottom of the list...

When death woke up he said to the guy,

'Because u have been so very nice to me,

I will start from the BOTTOM of the list

goodnite pals

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FUNNY FAN FOR FANS


A House girl asked her madam to increase her
salary.

image
FUNNY STORIES

The madam ask her to give 3 reasons
why she need her salary to be increased.

* HOUSE GIRL :* I can cook better than you.

  • MADAM:* Who told you that?
  • HOUSE GIRL:* Your husband told me.
  • MADAM:* Okay, second reason….!
    Fans for fb

* HOUSE GIRL:* I can iron better than you.

  • MADAM:* Who told you that?
  • HOUSE GIRL:* Your husband told me.

  • MADAM:* Okay, last reason.

  • HOUSE GIRL:* I am also better than you in bed (Madam got furious, grab a stick to smash her head)

  • MADAM:* Did my husband say that?

  • HOUSE GIRL:* NO, the driver told me I’m better
    than you in bed.

  • * MADAM:* Shhhh! Lower your voice please! I will increase your salary immediately. You’re such a hard working girl.

    image

    * Have a beautiful day ahead*

    BIBLE VERSES · FUNNY JOKES · FUNNY STORIES · Uncategorized

    Stay strong God is with you


    Stay strong God is with you!

    John 14:1 NRSV

    Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me.
    Psalm 16:8

    I know the Lord is always with me, I will not be shaken for He is right beside me.
    Philippians 4:13

    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

    If you are going through mountains and valleys of life’s trials don’t let fear overwhelm you, never let fear overtaken your faith,

    God has not given you the spirit of fear but of faith and of courage to stay strong and to withstand all.

    Be prayerful, obedient and alert..Pray to God to let His peace overtake you.

    Let your faith be bigger than your fear knowing that all is in God’s hand and that God is in control.

    Stay strong God is with you!

    Publishing to the Graph API</h1

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