Culture – why am i a rastaman?

Originally posted on David:
A big question posed to me daily on the street Many want to know the reason why I am a rastaman Many people see I, many people ask I Why am i a rastaman? Many people see I, many people ask Why am i a rastaman? It’s because of the Babylon…




Would you like to have anointed favour to come upon your life? This is God’s desire for you.

The bible declares that God anointed Jesus with His spirit to come and declare the year of the Lords favour upon us.

We are favoured by the lord. It is however sad that the enemy comes to condemn and steal/block/divert the favour that we should have.

Begin your new year/month/ week with these prayers to release your favour upon your life.

Remember this is by faith alone. Take it by force my brethren:

Begin with praise and worship
I confess that my faith is in the Lordship of Jesus Christ, my saviour

Ps 102:13 says “Thou shall arise, and have mercy upon Zion, for the time to favour her, yea, the set time is come”.

I declare that this is my time for the lord to arise and have mercy upon me for the time of my favour has come.

Ps 89:20 says “I have found favour with David my servant, with holy oil have I anointed him”.

Lord let me have favour with you, arise o my God, and anoint me with holy oil.

Today I come against all evil and negative thoughts that Satan and his agents have planted in my heart.

I destroy them in the name of Jesus. I rebuke all demons controlling them in the name of Jesus

I silence all demons disturbing my spirit in the name of Jesus

I release the fire of the Holy spirit to destroy every source of evil thoughts in Jesus name

I bind, rebuke and cast out all anti favour demons, anti-prayer demons, anti-miracle demons, anti-deliverance demons and all rebel spirits causing hindrances in the heavenlies, air, land sea or under the sea in Jesus name
I nullify their power in the name of Jesus Christ

I nullify and destroy all curses and garments of ill luck, curses and garments of failure, curses and garments of shame, curses and garments of hatred, curses and garments of death, curses and garments of disappointment and any other curse or garment of the devil hindering me from receiving my favour

I rebuke, bind and cast them out in Jesus name

I destroy any book of the devil in which my name is written for any reason

I rebuke and cast all demons working on those books in the name of Jesus

I erase my name with the blood of Jesus from the temple of the devil, shrine and mystic homes in Jesus name

I come against all marks of hatred and all marks tattooed on my body which hinder me from receiving my divine favour.

I erase them with the blood of Jesus

I erase with the blood of Jesus marks of disappointment, marks of sorrow, marks of hatred, marks of poverty, marks of ill-luck, marks of sicknesses, marks of failure, marks of trouble and every other visible or invisible mark

I bind rebuke and cast away in Jesus name demons following me because of these marks

I wash myself with the blood of Jesus and command the good angels of the Lord to follow me

My name is……………… from ………….(country),…………(tribe) and ……………(clan-if any)

If in any case my name, surname, clan, tribe or country is that of a demon, an idol, a river or steam, evil person, mermaid, bitter occasion, market day, evil day/season or anything that glorifies Satan, I destroy the spiritual meaning and significance of such names

I bind, rebuke and cast out every demon that has been hindering my progress though such names in Jesus name

I now dedicate my name and cancel all negative connotations of my name to the glory of God in the name of Jesus

O lord, make my name a blessing and turn away your shame to glory
I now rise against wizards, witches and demons that give people evil dreams in Jesus name

I destroy all evil dreams that cause people to hate me in Jesus name

I wipe with the blood of Jesus all evil dreams registered in the minds of people concerning me

I come against demons that alter every good thing/kindness you show me through my dreams in Jesus name

I command every demon that causes me to eat in my dream, have sex in my dream, fly in my dream, talk in my dream, swim in my dream, cry in my dream, fear in my d

I declare its time for my favour in Jesus name

Let your angels o lord, of goodness and mercy follow me
I now put on garments of divine favour http://wp.me/p7ZLBf-5x

O lord, light the candle of my life (Ps 18:28) and thank you so much for favouring me.

To add to these prayers, your actions must be added to receive the divine favor.

Respect 10 commandments. Seek no pleasure, live to serve others and live through kind selfless service. Fast often.
Forgive those who offended you and give gifts anonymously.

(You will be especially blessed if the person thanks God, not you, for the gift).



My name is Peter from Iten.I have a problem with women, here is what I am undergoing.

I was born a brave boy, and even voted the most handsome pupil in my school during a contest. I grew up knowing women love me.

I am now mature and ready to marry but I have a problem with women. Every time I approach a lady, she runs like she has seen a disaster. I try to explain why I am the best man in her life but she sneers at me.I have tried in more than 10 occasions to ask my mother whether I am handsome, and she always say,”yes”.Since I trust my mum more than these silly girls I don’t even need to look at myself in the mirror.

I am now asking, what trick can I use to win a beautiful woman. Please help a desperate brother.




1. Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck?
A: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them

2. Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

3. Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

4. Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

5. Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.

6. Q: What has got two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a dog!

7. Q: What do you call an afghan virgin
A: Never bin laid on

8. Q: Why is santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

9. Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.

10. Q: Did you hear about the guy who ran in-front of the bus?
A: He got tired

11. Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

12. Q: How do you get tickets to the Tampon 100?
A: Pull some strings.

13. Q: Why Are crippled people always picked on?
A: Because they can’t stand up for themselves

14. Q: Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Putting her back in the wheelchair when your done

15. Q: Why doesn’t a chicken wear pants?
A: Because his pecker is on his head!

16. Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
A: He needed to get to the bottom!

17. Q: What did the penis say to the condom?
A: Cover me im going in!

18. Q: What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
A: Crabs on your organ.

19. Q: Why did the Mafia cross the road?
A: Forget about it.

20. Q: What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times?
A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

21. Q: What kind of bees produce milk?
A: Boobies

22. Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.

23. Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don’t have balls to scratch.

24. Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn’t?
A: Her navel.

25. Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
A: Liquor in the front and poker in the back!

26. Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs?
A: He doesn’t want anyone knowing he’s been fucking the chickens!

27. Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?
A: Halfway

28. Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

29. Q: What do u call a bunny with a bent dick?

30. Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.

31. Q: Whats the best thing about a 18 year old girl in the shower?
A: Slick her hair back she looks 15..

32. Q: What’s strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
A: The back of my hand.

33. Q: What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?
A: They both don’t work and always take your money.

34. Q: Why are there only two pallbearers at a homeless guys funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.

35. Q: How do they say “fuck you” in Los Angeles?
A: Trust me.

36. Q: What do bread and autistic kids have in common?
A: They both have special needs

37. Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: Why are YOU shaking? She’s going to eat me! One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”

38. Q; Whats the difference between the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader?
A: They both suck for four quarters.

39. Q: What is a crack head’s favorite song?
A: I wanna rock!

40. Q: How do you get retards out of a tree?
A: Wave to them!

41. Q: What do you call a gang banger behind bars?
A: Anything you want.

42. Q; What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest?
A: A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off

43. Q: What is Superman’s greatest weakness?
A: A bucking horse.

44. Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide?
A: He got the gas bill.

45. Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.

46. Q: What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common?

A: They both stick there meat in 10 year oldbbuns



HE IS WAITING TO LIFT YOU UP: Are you feeling weak? Are you stressed? Are you facing hardship? Are you sick? Are you hopeless? Are you not sure of your future? Are you having setbacks in life? Are you in tears and sadness? Is there no one willing to get you back on your feet? Is everything you touch not prospering? You do not have to look far Just fix your eyes on Jesus He is the Lord and Savior. Sometimes there are things we can not handle on our own. Sometimes we feel so broken down and all those around us can even ignore us. We will be in pain trying to look for the answer of our questions but no where to turn to. We soak ourselves in sorrow with no option on where to start from and how to start. Whenever we are in such a situation We have to realize that we are not alone. People can reject you. People can ignore helping you. People can turn their back on you. People can distance themselves away from you. But God will never leave you. God will never abandon you. God will always be there with you. You maybe in hardship right now You may be facing difficult situations right now You maybe unhappy right now You maybe confuse right now But only if you could get down on your knees and surrender all your situations in the hands of God then you will receive your deliverence! When we learn to depend on God All our tribulations will come to an end. God is a miracle working God. He has no happiness in watching His child suffers. So surrender yourself and your situation to him and i promise you that He will fix you and all your lost joy will be restored back! Wherever you are In whatever your doing Know that God loves you. He is ready to lift you up. He is ready to make you strong when your weak! Depend on him and He will never let you down! Those who look at God And depend on him fully will never be failures in life! Your not a failure. Just fix your eyes on God and He will provide all your needs in abundance according to his riches in Glory through Jesus Christ! Amen share to bless others




I went to see a friend from a very rich family.

The maid approached Mε̲̣̣̣̥ & this talk followed:

MAID: What would you like to have: fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino, frapuccino or coffee?

ME: Tea please.

MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea?

ME: Ceylon tea please.
MAID: how do you want it, black or white?
ME: White. …

MAID: Milk or fresh cream?

ME: With milk.

MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would u lyk it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Beet sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: l beg, forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water…

MAID: Mineral, tap or distilled water?
ME: Mineral water. MAID: flavored or non flavored?
ME: In fact, just get me an empty glass!
Kachai kameleta stress hahaa haa…. :-3 ❤READ MORE

Resend to all Your friends to put a smile on †heir faces……

Don’t spoil the fun.



Niliona composition yako ya KCPE, Nilibabika baya:: One day I saw our goat crying. I went with a tall speed (thifidi nene). I was angry lyk a devil (ndarakarite ta ngoma) when it saw am nt laughing (yona ndiratheka) it stopped.

I hold the road and went back (nginyita njira ngicoka).

When I had beaten a corner lyk lack of importance(ndahura kona takwaga fata ri) I saw it had carried me babily (ngiona nianguite wana) let me laugh, let me laugh, until I dried my ribs (reke theke ngitheka,nginya ngiuma mbaru).

usicheke solo chokoza mabeste ili pia wacheke…