BIBLE VERSES · LORD'S MASSAGE · TODAY'S SCRIPTURE · Uncategorized

HE IS WAITING TO LIFT YOU UP


HE IS WAITING TO LIFT YOU UP:

Are you feeling weak?
Are you stressed?

Are you facing hardship?
Are you sick?

Are you hopeless?
Are you not sure of your future?

Are you having setbacks in life?
Are you in tears and sadness?

Is there no one willing to get you back on your feet?

Is everything you touch not prospering?

You do not have to look far
Just fix your eyes on Jesus

He is the Lord and Savior.
Sometimes there are things we can not handle on our own.

Sometimes we feel so broken down and all those around us can even ignore us.

We will be in pain trying to look for the answer of our questions but no where to turn to.

We soak ourselves in sorrow with no option on where to start from and how to start.

Whenever we are in such a situation

We have to realize that we are not alone.
People can reject you.

People can ignore helping you.
People can turn their back on you.
People can distance themselves away from you.

But God will never leave you.
God will never abandon you.
God will always be there with you.
You maybe in hardship right now

You may be facing difficult situations right now
You maybe unhappy right now
You maybe confuse right now

But only if you could get down on your knees and surrender all your situations in the hands of God then you will receive your deliverence! When we learn to depend on God

All our tribulations will come to an end.
God is a miracle working God.
He has no happiness in watching His child suffers.

So surrender yourself and your situation to him and i promise you that He will fix you and all your lost joy will be restored back! Wherever you are

In whatever your doing

Know that God loves you.
He is ready to lift you up.
He is ready to make you strong when your weak!

Depend on him and He will never let you down!
Those who look at God

And depend on him fully will never be failures in life!
Your not a failure.

Just fix your eyes on God and He will provide all your needs in abundance according to his riches in Glory through Jesus Christ!

Amen share to bless others

FUNNY JOKES · FUNNY STORIES · JOKES

FUNNY HOT DATE


Hot Date
.
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

“Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot.

I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night.

We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out.

And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that.

Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.”

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.

He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree.

He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.”

He leans over to her and says, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”

FUNNY JOKES · FUNNY STORIES · JOKES

INSIDE JOKE


Inside Joke

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.

The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing fit to bust.

The chemist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, that if the man returns, to follow him.

Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more.

The assistant duly follows.

Half an hour later, he returns.
“So did you follow him?” ask the chemist.

“I did”, replied the assistant.

“And…where did he go?”

“Over to your house…”

FUNNY JOKES · FUNNY STORIES · JOKES

FUNNY GRANDPA AND HIS GRANDSON


A Grandpa walks into a grandson’s apartment and sees a condom on the table.

“What’s this!?” demands the grandfather.

“It’s a condom” replies the grandson sheepishly.

“What do you use it for?” asks Gramps.

The guy is surprised that his grandpa really doesn’t know what a condom is, and lies, “I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain.”

To his surprise his grandpa says “That’s a great idea,” and goes off to the drug store.

He asks the pharmacist for a condom. “What size would you like” asks the pharmacist.

“Oh, big enough to fit a camel”

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RICH PEOPLE’S SWAG


RICH PEOPLE SWAG

I went to see a friend from a very rich family.

The maid approached Mε̲̣̣̣̥ & this talk followed:

MAID: What would you like to have: fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino, frapuccino or coffee?

ME: Tea please.

MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea?

ME: Ceylon tea please.
MAID: how do you want it, black or white?
ME: White. …

MAID: Milk or fresh cream?

ME: With milk.

MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would u lyk it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Beet sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: l beg, forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water…

MAID: Mineral, tap or distilled water?
ME: Mineral water. MAID: flavored or non flavored?
ME: In fact, just get me an empty glass!
Kachai kameleta stress hahaa haa…. :-3 ❤READ MORE

Resend to all Your friends to put a smile on †heir faces……

Don’t spoil the fun.

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SCHOOL FUNN


Niliona composition yako ya KCPE, Nilibabika baya:: One day I saw our goat crying. I went with a tall speed (thifidi nene). I was angry lyk a devil (ndarakarite ta ngoma) when it saw am nt laughing (yona ndiratheka) it stopped.

I hold the road and went back (nginyita njira ngicoka).

When I had beaten a corner lyk lack of importance(ndahura kona takwaga fata ri) I saw it had carried me babily (ngiona nianguite wana) let me laugh, let me laugh, until I dried my ribs (reke theke ngitheka,nginya ngiuma mbaru).

usicheke solo chokoza mabeste ili pia wacheke…

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THE WIKEND GRANDMOM


A MUST READ STORY FOR THE HEART.

A 26-year lady who lives with her step-mother for the past 22-years always pass her University examination but will never be promoted.

She has been in level 100 for the past three-years.
Last Friday night on her way home from church, she met this old beggar & dropped $1.00 in her bowl.

The old woman told the girl to take all the money in her bowl & buy her step-mother a White cloth as a gift.

Inside the bowl the girl saw a thick tall fair young woman’s picture.

She told the old lady the woman in the picture is very beautiful & wish to meet her one day.

The old lady replies”Blood is thicker than water” & left.
The girl did everything the old lady told her.

The next Monday in class, the head master came to the class & told her she is not suppose to be in that class.

She is supposed to be in Level 300 this year.

The head master took her to his office, gave her money to buy her books & walked her into her level 300 class.

When she got home, she saw her step-mum dead lying down beside her the picture she saw in the old lady’s bowl.

She asked her dad, her dad told him that lady is her dead mum.

Her dad told her the step-mother was the cause of her misfortune in school, the cause of her mother’s death & the spells she placed on him not to love her.

She used her womb to do all this things.

After the death of the step-mother, everything went back to normal.

I pray from this day, that has been going through life pains, ceased Glory, standing or sitting at the same level in life through peoples wickedness will receive the favor of God’s breakthrough now by the power invested in you

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