FUNNY JOKES · FUNNY STORIES · JOKES

INSIDE JOKE


Inside Joke

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.

The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing fit to bust.

The chemist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, that if the man returns, to follow him.

Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more.

The assistant duly follows.

Half an hour later, he returns.
“So did you follow him?” ask the chemist.

“I did”, replied the assistant.

“And…where did he go?”

“Over to your house…”

FUNNY JOKES · FUNNY STORIES · JOKES

FUNNY GRANDPA AND HIS GRANDSON


A Grandpa walks into a grandson’s apartment and sees a condom on the table.

“What’s this!?” demands the grandfather.

“It’s a condom” replies the grandson sheepishly.

“What do you use it for?” asks Gramps.

The guy is surprised that his grandpa really doesn’t know what a condom is, and lies, “I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain.”

To his surprise his grandpa says “That’s a great idea,” and goes off to the drug store.

He asks the pharmacist for a condom. “What size would you like” asks the pharmacist.

“Oh, big enough to fit a camel”

Uncategorized

RICH PEOPLE’S SWAG


RICH PEOPLE SWAG

I went to see a friend from a very rich family.

The maid approached Mε̲̣̣̣̥ & this talk followed:

MAID: What would you like to have: fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino, frapuccino or coffee?

ME: Tea please.

MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea?

ME: Ceylon tea please.
MAID: how do you want it, black or white?
ME: White. …

MAID: Milk or fresh cream?

ME: With milk.

MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would u lyk it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Beet sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: l beg, forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water…

MAID: Mineral, tap or distilled water?
ME: Mineral water. MAID: flavored or non flavored?
ME: In fact, just get me an empty glass!
Kachai kameleta stress hahaa haa…. :-3 ❤READ MORE

Resend to all Your friends to put a smile on †heir faces……

Don’t spoil the fun.

Uncategorized

SCHOOL FUNN


Niliona composition yako ya KCPE, Nilibabika baya:: One day I saw our goat crying. I went with a tall speed (thifidi nene). I was angry lyk a devil (ndarakarite ta ngoma) when it saw am nt laughing (yona ndiratheka) it stopped.

I hold the road and went back (nginyita njira ngicoka).

When I had beaten a corner lyk lack of importance(ndahura kona takwaga fata ri) I saw it had carried me babily (ngiona nianguite wana) let me laugh, let me laugh, until I dried my ribs (reke theke ngitheka,nginya ngiuma mbaru).

usicheke solo chokoza mabeste ili pia wacheke…

Uncategorized

THE WIKEND GRANDMOM


A MUST READ STORY FOR THE HEART.

A 26-year lady who lives with her step-mother for the past 22-years always pass her University examination but will never be promoted.

She has been in level 100 for the past three-years.
Last Friday night on her way home from church, she met this old beggar & dropped $1.00 in her bowl.

The old woman told the girl to take all the money in her bowl & buy her step-mother a White cloth as a gift.

Inside the bowl the girl saw a thick tall fair young woman’s picture.

She told the old lady the woman in the picture is very beautiful & wish to meet her one day.

The old lady replies”Blood is thicker than water” & left.
The girl did everything the old lady told her.

The next Monday in class, the head master came to the class & told her she is not suppose to be in that class.

She is supposed to be in Level 300 this year.

The head master took her to his office, gave her money to buy her books & walked her into her level 300 class.

When she got home, she saw her step-mum dead lying down beside her the picture she saw in the old lady’s bowl.

She asked her dad, her dad told him that lady is her dead mum.

Her dad told her the step-mother was the cause of her misfortune in school, the cause of her mother’s death & the spells she placed on him not to love her.

She used her womb to do all this things.

After the death of the step-mother, everything went back to normal.

I pray from this day, that has been going through life pains, ceased Glory, standing or sitting at the same level in life through peoples wickedness will receive the favor of God’s breakthrough now by the power invested in you

SHARE TO BLESS OTHERS

BIBLE VERSES

THE PRICE OF JOY


Great joy awaits you Goodmorning child of God, and therefore heir of God and in so speaking joint heir with Christ!

You are qualified even this morning to share in the inheritance of the Saints.

You know this?

I know you do Now, if we are fully persuaded about this truth, this living truth then we must be able to run the race with diligence, seek God diligently for He’s a rewarder of such.

*Unto us today are shoes that must be taken off, we may be afraid of the thorns that may prick and scorpions that may bite the bare feet, but remember it’s a holy place, nothing will harm you.

Take them offer and behold the Lord of Lords an assignment*

*There are stones covering up for the dead, rotten portions of us, that we truly desire to revive, and at times when Christ asks us to roll them away, we’re afraid of the awful stench and we’re certain about no more life in there.

I however beseech you today to roll out such stones, unashamed and see life at Jesus’ word*

*Put to death the body that desires the easily ensnaring sin, the flesh that seeks gratification of what wages war against our soul*

Put on the attitude of Jesus, who thought of the things above, who endured the pain and shame and scorn of the death on the cross for the joy that awaited Him.

For now He’s is exalted, glorified, given a name above every name and seated at the right hand of the father

*Fix your eyes on Jesus, in the prize that awaits.

We must be immune and insensitive to any other prize that the world and self offers.

*Let’s position ourselves in the place of addition of all things we seek, that is the place of seekin His kingdom and righteousness*

I desire that our minds be filled up with things above, beholding in the Holy Spirit the unseen, unheard unfelt things that the Father has in store for me and you.

*If we know the prize, the joy, the glory that is to come, we won’t let anything stand in the way*

Always Remember this truth, 2Co 4:16 — 2Co 4:18 (NKJV) 16

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.

17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,

18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.

For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

And do not forget Romans 8. 18 [But what of that?]

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time (this present life) are not worth being compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us and for us and conferred on us!

Uncategorized

FUNNY JOKES


A JOKE

A girl was with her
father when she
saw her boyfriend
coming

GIRL: Have you come
to collect your book
titled “DADDY IS AT
HOME?”
by Ngozi
Okafor

BOY: No, I want that
your hymn book
called “WHERE
SHOULD I WAIT FOR
YOU?”

GIRL: I don’t have
that one but maybe
you should take
the other one titled
“UNDER THE MANGO
TREE”
by
Chimamanda Adichie

BOY: Fine, but don’t
forget to bring “I
WILL CALL YOU IN 5
MINUTES”
while
coming to school

GIRL:
I will also bring
you a new one too
titled“I WON’T LET
YOU DOWN”
by
Chinua Achebe
Then;
DAD: Those books
are too many, will
he read them all

GIRL: Yes dad, he is
very smart &
intelligent

DAD:
Okay don’t
forget to give him
the one on the table
titled “I AM NOT
STUPID, I
UNDERSTOOD
EVERYTHING YOU’VE
BEEN SAYING”
by
Shakespeare And
also the one on the
dinning table titled
“IF YOU GET
PREGNANT PREPARE
TO GET MARRIED”

by Kimani
Hahahaha….. come on
don’t leave it there
pass it on because
you never know
who needed just a
smile.

FIND US ON FACEBOOK

WISE Quotes

WISE WORDS

JESUS CHRIST IS LORD

POSTIVE Quotes

JOKES & FUNNY

SHARE GOSPEL

RICHIE KAPYENGA

BIBLE Quotes

FACABOOK GROUPS

JOIN CHRISTIANS